"The way to a man's heart...

...is through his stomach."  Basically, this means that cooking for a man is a good way to win his affections.  There is some dispute as to whether this proverb is of American or British origin, but regardless, it is something that any American woman who can cook knows to be true.

In my expert opinion (being an American woman who can cook really well), Torbe is no exception.

I am still reading through all of his New York posts, and it is clear that the man loves food.  I don't even care that he called most NYC women fatties.  Doesn't bother me.  I don't like New York in general and don't much like New Yorkers anyway.  And the pictures he showed on his posts did indeed have a lot of New York chubsters in them.  Hey.  It's America.  Even in NYC, there are going to be fatties.  (Although...the New Yorkers would probably claim that the chubsters were from Jersey.) 

I suppose I should get all offended by Torbe calling American women fat, but I am not.  First, I am not easily offended.  Second, I'm not fat.  :-)  Finally, from what I have seen, my less than slender sisters here in the States still get lots of play, so it's not like they are hurting or anything.

So Torbe's love of American hamburguesas, coupled with his obvious brownie fetish, made me think I should perhaps try to help out some of the Spanish porn chicks who are trying ever so hard to mesmerize Torbe.  Girl code and all, you know.

The not-so-pretty Tenerife teeny bopper in particular is just breaking my heart right now.  She is just trying sooooooo hard to capture Torbe.  Torbe has the fabulous Ramona...so la pobrecita goes and buys a Chuihuaha too.  Torbe loves fútbol...so la pobrecita gets decked out in a Real Madrid shirt.  Torbe (really) loves fútbol...so while he is watching it on TV, la pobrecita starts up with a lap dance routine (that Torbe records and posts on his Twitter feed in order to pump up business for her webcam appearances).

This is getting really sad, so I'm going to throw la pobrecita a bone.  I doubt la pobrecita can read English, so maybe one of her porn chick friends can translate it for her?  Anyway, here goes.

BROWNIES.  Make the man some brownies.  Seriously, for la pobrecita or any other porn chick who wants to make Torbe fall in love with her, trust me: American brownies are the way to go.

And here is the recipe you should try.  Oh, it is not my own secret recipe or anything...but these are absolutely divine.  They are featured in this month's Bon Appétit magazine:

Here is the recipe...sorry about the American measurements.  I don't know how to translate these into metric measurements easily.  (Hey, the porn chicks should have to do some work in order to win Torbe's heart!)

Cocoa Brownies with Browned Butter and Walnuts
PREP  20 minutes TOTAL 4 hours 50 minutes (includes cooling time)
MAKES 16  These are some of the best brownies we've ever had--fudgy in the middle and chewy on the outside with a shiny, crackly top.  The browned butter adds a rich, nutty flavor.

          Nonstick vegetable oil spray
    10  tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch pieces
 1 1/4 cups sugar
    3/4 cups natural unsweetened cocoa powder (spooned into cup to measure, then leveled)
      1  teaspoon vanilla extract
      2  large eggs, chilled
    1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon unbleached all purpose flour
      1  cup walnut pieces

Position rack in bottom third of oven; preheat to 325 degrees Fahrenheit.  Line 8x8x2-inch metal pan with foil, pressing foil firmly against pan sides and leaving 2-inch overhang.  Coat foil with nonstick spray.  Melt butter in medium saucepan over medium heat.  Continue cooking until butter stops foaming and browned bits form at bottom of pan, stirring often, about 5 minutes.  Remove from heat; immediately add sugar, cocoa, 2 teaspoons water, vanilla, and 1/4 teaspoon (generous) salt.  Stir to blend.  Let cool 5 minutes (mixture will still be hot).  Add eggs to hot mixture 1 at a time, beating vigorously to blend after each addition.  When mixture looks thick and shiny, add flour and stir until blended.  Beat vigorously 60 strokes.  Stir in nuts.  Transfer batter to prepared pan.

Bake brownies until toothpick inserted into center comes out almost clean (with a few moist crumbs attached), about 25 minutes.  Cool in pan on rack.  Using foil overhang, lift brownies from pan.  Cut into 4 strips.  Cut each strip crosswise into 4 brownies.  [DO AHEAD--Can be made 2 days ahead.  Store airtight at room temperature.]

Credit to chocolate expert, cookbook author, and cooking teacher Alice Medrich for the recipe.